Match report 17 December 2009

A fantastic contest tonight saw 7 men take on 6.

The match started as usual at just after 7.30pm and conditions were cold but unspectacular. All that was to change. After 8.30pm every second saw another flurry of snow sweeping down on the back of a driving wind. The pitch started to resemble a picture called White by Mark Rothko.

Not since Shackleton and the crew of Endurance played ice football had brave men endeavoured to play football in such conditions.

The game nevertheless saw an abundance of quality and remained injury-free. Newbies Dan and Chris displayed the sort of cultured football that might see Mark Hughes jotting down ideas for the January window; V and Dwayne were outstanding in attack and scored a mix of solo efforts and team plays straight from the training ground; Paul, Yusuf, Andrew, John, and Matt were all assured in the middle of the park, whilst Luke, Nick and David were a harder nut to crack than Bolton when they were under Sam Allardyce.

Man of the match is V.

Well done to Andrew for organising this game, which proved a brilliant end to the season.

Happy New Year and See you all in 2010!

Danny

PS "The moral of the story is not to listen to those that tell you to play the violin but stick to the tambourine."
Jose Mourinho

Football personality of the year awards

A great 8v8 tonight saw a splendid end to the year.

Over the course of the year we have had over 65 players. Some of them are in the list below (apologies to those who aren't - no offence intended - there are several of you):

note: sometimes surnames are used to avoid confusion

The Bobby Charlton award for having the shot from hell: winner) Ben Rosenbaum, joint runners-up John Jansen and Joel;

The Roy Keane award for having a quiet word with the ref: winner) David May, runner-up Dwayne

The Alan Shearer award for playing quality football and speaking with a Geordie accent: winner) Merrick runner up) Adam Rosenbaum

The Teddy Sheringham award for having the maximum effect with the minimum of effort: winner) John Ormrod, runner up) Graeme Arnold

The Billy Bremner award for fighting like a terrier: winner) Luke, runner up) Rob McCabe

The Theo Walcott award for the most improved player: winners) Yusuf and Paul O'Connor, joint runners-up Stu, Martin and Tom Holland

The Joe Jordan award for being as hard as nails up-front: winner) Jason Gibb, runner up) John Jansen

The Norman Hunter award for being as hard as nails at the back/midfield: winner) Rory, runner up) Matt

The Stevie G prize for most flair: joint winners) Pedro and Je, joint runners up) John Jansen, Yusuf and Andrew

The Trevor Brooking prize for movement off the ball: winner) Yusuf, runner-up) Andrew

The Peter Crouch prize for heading: joint winners) Matt and Jason, joint runners-up Ed and Tim

The Brian Clough prize for having footballing nouse: winner) Dwayne, joint runners-up Mickey and Walter

The Gary Lineker prize for goal poaching: winner) Tomas, runner-up) Francesco

The Paul Scholes prize for midfield marshalling: winner) Rory, runner-up) Stu

The Flamini prize for running all over the shop: winner) Rob McCabe, runners up) Benjamin Smith and Tom Holland

The Paolo di Canio award for fair play: joint winners) Martin and Yusuf, runner-up) Henry Stewart

The Rio Ferdinand award for composure at the back) winner: Robin Catto and Daniel Bocking, runners-up Nick and Dickon

The Bert Trautmann award for bravery: winner) John Jansen, runners-up Rory and Paul Cassidy

The Shay Given award for outstanding keeping: winner) Luke, runner-up Martin

The Gareth Barry prize for having an educated left foot: winner) Paul O'Connor, runner-up Tom Becker

The Jamie Carragher award for playing in any position: winner) Ben Rosenbaum, joint runners-up: Paul Cassidy and Ed

The David Beckham prize for set-pieces: winner) Andrew, joint runner-ups Dwayne and Jon Ormrod

The Ryan Giggs award for play down the wings: winner) Dwayne, runners-up Chris, Francesco and Roy Ackerman

The Carlos Tevez award for a striker prepared to chase back: winner) Ben, joint runners-up Pedro and Luke

Thanks to all the 65+ players and hopefully see most of you next year!

Match report 19 November 2009

A corker of a game. 9 versus 9

The Bibs: David, Andrew, Yusuf, John, Dan, Adam, Dickon, Pedro, Stu,

The Bibless: Ben, Paul, Dwayne, Francesco, Nick, Micky, Matt, Jacob, Danny

A fast-paced, high-energy encounter saw The Bibs come from behind to win 14-13. A lesser side might have cracked in the face of an early onslaught from The Bibless, but The Bibs's superior fitness saw them through.

David marshalled the side in the manner of Jack Charlton, combining tactical nouse and a no-nonsense approach; Andrew played a highly effective box to box role with the incisive running of a Clarence Seedorf; Yusuf as usual combined well in midfield and was the heartbeat of the side, often turning defence into attack rather like a young and injury free Kieron Dyer; John valiantly fought on in spite of injury and displayed the bravery of a Bert Trautmann; Dan was firm and solid at the back and displayed the strength and skill of Michael Essien; Adam showed relentless energy and the fine skills reminiscent of a cross between Kaka and Messi; Dickon was like a rock at the back and won more than his fair share of 50/50s with the effectiveness of Norman Hunter; Pedro strutted his stuff and was as deadly up-front as Van Nistlerooy; whilst Stu was on fire and combined powerful midfield play with deadly finishing in the style of Stevie G.

The Bibless had their stars too. Ben covered the park with the energy of Fabregas and sprayed the ball around with the composure of Terry McDermott; Paul had a fine game with numerous quality touches as well as important interceptions and passes reminiscent of Gareth Barry; Dwayne was superb up-front and tracking back to midfield with the persistence and skill of a Tevez; Francesco once more displayed his silky skills in attack with the flair that an on-form Andriy Shevchenko would have been proud of; Nick was unbeatable in defence, showing the tenacity and dependability of Jamie Carragher; Micky was superb in the middle of the park, winning the ball and distributing it with vision as well as relentlessly tackling back like a cross between Alan Ball and Johnny Giles; Matt had a splendid debut, constantly winning the ball bravely and then passing the ball with quality and incisiveness much like Carles Puyol; Jacob had an early injury that confined him to the role of keeper, which he approached with the aplomb and determination of Peter 'The Cat' Bonetti.

Joint men of the match tonight - one from each side: Adam and Micky.

Match report Sunday 8 November 2009

A low attendance this Sunday saw an action-packed contest. Francesco and the author took on Luke and Chris in a hard-fought game that would have struck informed passers-by (if there had been any) as remarkably similar to the 1970 Leeds v Chelsea FA Cup Final.

One minute Chris resembled Terry Cooper and the next 'Sniffer' Clarke, one minute Luke evoked Paul Madeley and the next Eddie Gray.

Meanwhile Francesco mirrored John Hollins meshed with Charlie Cooke.

Francesco duly walks away with man of the match.

Match report November 5, 2009

A hard fought 7v7 tonight where Dinamo were dynamite and won 10-4.

In an atmosphere worthy of the San Siro with fireworks going off all around there were also fireworks happening on the pitch with some of the classiest one-twos not seen since Keegan and Brooking.

The winning side had youth, flair and touch. It was like watching the great and the good from Arsenal's present and past: Flamini (Stu), Fabregas (Yusuf), Adebayor (Joel), Van Persie (Andrew), Sagna (Luke), Viera (Dickon), and Brady (John) all made their mark with fine passing and movement.

The objective fans would have said however that the other side were a touch unlucky and that the scoreline did not tell the whole story.

Appropriately for a derby atmosphere, it was a Spurs all stars style side that took on the Arsenal men.

Gary Lineker (Tomas), Paul Gascoigne (Dwayne), Terry Venables (Paul C), Ossie Ardilles (Paul O'C), Glenn Hoddle (Francesco), and Mike England (Nick) all put in strong performances.

Once again Tomas was a handful up-front and he linked well with Francesco who served up some lovely touches, Dwayne was magnificent at marshalling the side and finding killer passes, while the two Pauls showed boundless energy and enterprise in all areas of the park, Nick meanwhile was a stalwart at the back and set up many an attack.

Congratulations to all on another great game! And happy birthday to John.

Man of the match goes to Yusuf.

Match Report 1 November 2009

Difficult weather and pitch conditions saw a very even contest with nobody able to assert themselves fully. Remarkably for such bad conditions there were no real mistakes made and all the players came out with credit with the match ending in a draw.

After a degree of deliberation, Luke, returning from injury, wins man of the match.

Match report 29 October 2009

An absolute cracker, a sizzler, a belter tonight as 10 men played 9 in a tussle of epic proportions.

With the 9 men side taking a 7-2 lead, it took a comeback of the like not seen since Istanbul to get the 10 man side back in the game and they duly pulled it back to within a goal only to end up being beaten 10-8 at close of play.

There were a plethora of top class performances and picking a man of the match has involved trawling through an embarrassment of riches.

After much debate the man of the match goes to Pedro - as Yves Saint Laurent famously said: "Fashions fade, style is eternal."

Match report 22 October 2009

A great 9v8 contest tonight - a makeshift Lokomotiv Breakdown side plus Adam and Paul O'C would always have their work cut out with one man down throughout.

Nevertheless they took an early lead and at 4-3 to the 8 men side it looked like their creativity and flair would cause an upset.

Andrew, Yusuf, Joel and Stu formed an Ajax-style diamond with Adam in a floating Ruud Gullit type role, whilst Tom, John and Paul O'C made their presence felt all over the park - modelling themselves noticeably on Dirk Kuyt.

Whilst there was a definite Dutch tinge to L.B, their opponents were pervaded by an Italian influence - a powerful strikeforce of Marco (is that the right name for the Italian chap??), Francesco, together with Roma's adopted son Jason proved a real handful, whilst the midfield and defence were so solid you'd have trouble breaking through it with a wrecking crane - Dwayne was a valuable linkman who won possession and proved so comfortable on the ball, Martin was inspirational at the back letting nothing get past, Tim marshalled the midfield with panache, Paul C made numerous important challenges and interceptions and started many an attack, but man of the match goes to Robin, who was reminiscent of Glen Johnson going forward and Jamie Carragher in defence. A real presence that helped his side pull away to victory at the end.

Match report 18 October 2009

A high energy, fiercely fought battle today.

Numerous man of the match contenders including:

Chris and Walter showed great footballing brains with a mindset reminiscent of Teddy Sheringham crossed with Franz Beckenbauer; Yusuf and Andrew combined in a way not witnessed in north west London since John Radford and Ray Kennedy strutted their stuff; but joint men of the match must be the two players who seemed to chase the ball all over the park and never give up, Jason and John, who played with the sort of purpose and determination the likes of Wayne Rooney could only dream of.

match report 15 October 2009

A controversial game tonight with 8 men beating 7 by 10 goals to 9. But the referee must take his share of the blame after the Italian goalkeeper tipped the ball over the bar only for a goal kick to be awarded from which move the 8 men immediately scored.

In an Eduardo like move, FIFA have got involved after the goalkeeper admitted after the game that he tipped the ball over in spite of denying it vehemently during the game. It is expected that FIFA will deduct the Italian 2 weeks salary and call it a day!

In spite of the irregularities it was a great game with strong performances all over the park, but joint men of the match were Tom and Pedro, who were highly influential for their respective sides.

Match report 11 October 2009

Bertrand Russell once said: "To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization, and at present very few people have reached this level."

Well 14 people today reached that level in a topsy-turvy contest that saw each team a man down for some of the game.

In what was one of the most hard-fought contests so far, credit must go to the bravery of the likes of David, Rory, and Dickon who valiantly put their bodies and their faces in the way of the ball with awe-inspiring bravery.

That lists just three players, but the park was covered with men who could have received medals for their valour.

Tricky to pick a man of the match from so many inspiring performances but the accolade goes to Dickon, who was peerless at the back and additionally instigated many an attack.

Match report 8 October 2009

A cracking match which ended up a 5 all draw.

Man of the match tonight is shared by Yusuf and Jason; the former played a crucial creative role a la Xavi Alonso, whilst the latter showed the strength and speed of Didier Drogba and had the added skill of not falling over clutching his leg the whole time.

Match report 4 October 2009

Difficult to write large-scale reports these days with 2 games a week and the danger of global warming impending!

Briefly therefore - a cracking 6v5 today - a wonderful addition to our pool of players was the Brazilian Je, who just pipped Rory to man of the match.

It was fantastic to see some classy passing and movement off the ball.

The players turned their nose up at the long ball, in much the same way as Truman Capote, referring to the 'Beat' writers, remarked: "This isn't writing at all - it's typing."

Match report 1 October

A cracking 6v5 graced the new winter Thursday nights at Camden. With a nice level pitch people were stroking the ball about like billy-o and there was a great deal of space that saw some startling runs and 1-2s.

I'll say it straight out tonight there will be no one man of the match. Everybody has a claim on the title.

Once more Yusuf, Andrew (bravely battling illness), and John combined well and if the surface would have been scorchable their running and incisive passing would have scorched the surface.

It was a welcome return for Dave A who won crucial ball and set up many an attack. Dan B and Jason were their usual blend of strength and agility.

However they were overcome (just) by the flair and pace of Pedro; Dwayne, who gave a midfield masterclass; Dickon, who gained possession and with poise stroked the ball around; and Nick, who was scored a hat trick and yet found the energy to be a stalwart in defence.

Match report 21 September 2009

A 9 versus 8 cracker tonight.

Dickon, Nick, Tim, Chris, Andrew, Yusuf, Henry, Lionel and later Francesco would be considered a mighty force by many a sane man and a few insane ones, but they were up against an organised and disciplined side in David, Danny, Martin, John, Rory, Tomas, Ben, and Paul.

Dickon, Nick, Henry, and Lionel worked like tigers at the back prowling their perimeter and snarling at any potential attacks and were largely successful at preventing the opposition making headway; Tim, Chris, and Francesco plied their trade in midfield like eagles swooping on loose ball and carving their way elegantly through any space they could find; whilst Andrew and Yusuf were like foxes, jinxing this way and that, losing their markers and causing havoc with their opponents.

But it wasn't enough, David had shrewdly organised the 8 men in advance. They worked like a well oiled machine, a compact unit, a precision mechanism.

Martin was invaluable at the back, closing down the opposition and breaking down attacks, David, after an assured stint in goal, pulled the opposition defence apart up front, Ben and Paul won 50:50 balls all over the park and once they won the ball distributed the ball with class and ease; Tom once more was lethal up front and proved a highly effective outlet (as David O'Leary once said of Robbie Fowler but he could have been talking about Tomas "You could run a university course on how to score goals based on his finishing"); meanwhile Rory once more combined dogged and determined defence with acute and astute attack; but man of the match goes to John, who was a human dynamo and in spite of some tough tackles soldiered on to stamp his mark on the game - as Lizarazu said of Zinedine Zidane "When we don't know what to do, we give it to him and he works something out."

Match report 15 September 2009

No match report tonight on the 22 man game.

Instead of my pearls of wisdom tonight I am instead reflecting on the words of two modern day sages, Peter Jones of Dragons Den, and Chris Rock.

According to Peter Jones:

"There is really no such thing as failure, only feedback."

Whilst Chris Rock pointed out:

"You know, only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do."

In the meantime, the man of the match goes to Tomas, who scored a quality hat-trick.

Match Report 7 September 2009

A cracking 12 v 11 tonight.

It was a fantastic blend of the old and the new with the return of old favourites not seen on the grass this year such as Henry and Merrick and the arrival on the scene of miscellaneous continentals who played with panache and verve.

As Muhammad Ali wisely said "Champions aren't made in the gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them — a desire, a dream, and a vision" and the bibless definitely displayed vision as they strutted their stuff, passing the ball seamlessly as they made incisive attacks with penetrative passing movements.

But, the bibbed ones were not overawed and they remembered the wise words of Gandhi, who once said: "First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win" and sure enough they won the game 2-1 with a splendid display of spirit, resolve and determination.

With so many heroes on the pitch it seems invidious to pick out one man of the match, but our anonymous judge wishes to highlight the displays of Rob and Pedro for the bibless and Jason and Josep for the bibbed ones.

Rob and Pedro were reminiscent of Gerrard and Torres at their best mesmerising the opposition and creating numerous chances for their side, whilst Jason and Josep were akin to Ballack and Lampard breaking down attacks and swiftly turning the tables on the opposition, constructing lethal attacks from an initially defensive position.

Match report 31 August 2009

A classy energetic game tonight, with all seven players fired up by the knowledge that the transfer window was closing tomorrow and the park was awash with scouts pointing their binoculars in our direction.

All seven players showed skill and determination and the match had the rivalry of a Celtic v Rangers match except, like civil wars, tonight we saw brother go against brother with Martin and Danny and Rory and Laurie on opposite sides of the fence.

Joining Martin and Laurie were Pedro and Paul. The four stroked the ball around with the consummate ease of Pele, Jairzinho, Rivelino and Carlos Alberto.

Meanwhile the brave threesome of Danny, Rory and Luke displayed the skill and determination of Jay-Jay Okocha, George Weah and Salif Keita.

Nevertheless the four won through 8-5 and man of the match goes to Laurie - watch the papers tomorrow to see if he gets picked up by Man City.

Match report 24 August 2009

A highly competitive 4v4 tonight.

With a team as packed with talent and spirit as the bibbed ones Chris, Rory, Jason and Paul, it would have been a brave man that would have predicted that they could be tamed.

Yet, step forward newcomer James, Luke, Andrew and Danny who linked as naturally as a horse and carriage, and played with the determination of a Bert Trautman injected with adrenalin.

The game came hot on the heels of the Ashes victory for England and more than one player remarked that the stats would probably have favoured the bibbed ones just as they did with Ponting's men.

Many people staked strong claims for man of the match - Luke and Andrew were like Alan Mullery and Jimmy Greenhoff; the former effective in defence and attack and the latter combining style and flair in attack, finding space and cutting through the opposition like a samurai sword through some Flora that's been left in the sun, but man of the match goes to James who showed a great footballing brain, a lethal pass, and beautifully turned defence into attack.

Match Report 18 August 2009

Another great game tonight with a dozen men involved in a ding-dong tussle that ended in a 6-5 victory to the bibbed ones.

The bibless Joseph, Francesco, Guy, Nick, Ben, and Ed fought valiantly and came back from 5-3 to level at 5-5. Once more Joseph played a crucial role as a holding midfielder reminiscent of Didi Hamann, Francesco was akin to Michael Owen at his best nipping about and losing his markers with the same ease as if they had been biros in an office stationery cupboard, Guy and Nick were great new additions to the pool of players - Guy thrived in goal and Nick challenged with the tenacity of Norman Hunter and played with the footballing insight of Neil Webb, Ben once more had more energy than a Duracell battery on speed and must have covered every blade of grass and the surrounding divets on the pitch, Ed showed his usual determination and posed the type of threat in attack not seen since the days of Malcolm MacDonald.

The bibbed ones (Jason, Tim, Luke, Yusuf, Rory and Danny) displayed strength throughout. Jason showed his usual determination winning numerous 50:50s and then spreading the ball about like Gus Poyet in his prime, Tim played an effective attacking midfield role, dribbling effectively and passing with panache - onlookers would have been reminded of Ruud Gulllit, Yusuf displayed the sort of attacking flair that terrorises the opposition and scithed through the opposition like a young Jimmy Johnstone, but man of the match goes to Rory, who consistently thwarted the opposition with strong tackles and masterful interceptions, passed with the accuracy of Phil the Power Taylor when he comes to the ockey, and made incisive runs that proved vital to the success of the bibbed ones.

Match Report August 10, 2009

It was a highly competitive 8 players v 7 players tonight. Dennis Wise and Vinnie Jones would have watched on proud at some of the challenges, Jurgen Klinsmann would have admired the diving and Roy Keane would have loved the dissent at some of the decisions.

That said, there was the usual camaraderie afoot. In addition, there were a plethora of silky touches, great runs, and passes that could have thread the eye of the needle.

Everybody played well. Martin and David had crackers and deserve special mention, but joint men of the match were Luke and Pedro - who between them scored 8 of the goals in the 5-5 thriller.

Match report 3 August 2009

It was a great 6v5 tonight. All the makings of a great game were there from the start although there are rumours that the ground staff have been fired.

For a long time the five held on against the odds, with Tim rampaging in attack and sturdy in defence, Ed owning the midfield, Martin winning all the fifty-fiftys and creating chances from all angles, and David A making runs, skillful dribbles, and sharp crosses that asked all manner of question of the other side.

At one point it was 5-4, but as Donald Trump once said:

"What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to each new twist of fate."

And, boy did the 6 react. Each goal from the opposition, they had an answer to and eventually won 10-6. David M in the words of Tim expertly threaded the ball into dangerous positions, Ben was a midfield general with a shot that would have made Bobby Charlton proud, Graeme with immaculate positional sense started many an attack and stopped many a threat, Francesco was peerless at finding space and distributing the ball wisely, Paul constantly created problems up-front and commanded the attack, but most crucial of all was the man of the match Lionel who showed skill, composure, determination and a great positional sense.

Match Report 27 July 2009

A hard fought 3v3 contest tonight with strong performances from Spain, Brazil and the UK.

Pedro, Joseph, Ben, Andrew, and Dickon all showed a blend of stamina, strength, pace, and technique.

One match ended 6-1 and the other ended 5-3. Pedro was on both the winning sides and deserves the man of the match award for a performance reminiscent of the old days of Jairzhinho, Tostao and of course, Pele.

Match Report 20 July 2009

Regrettably a brief report tonight as I have been having a very stressful day!

A fine match tonight with eleven strong players on show. Greece, Brazil, Italy, and Poland(?) as well as the Uk all provided the talent on show.

The five players won the match with a golden goal taking the score to 7-6 versus the six players. Although the winners all deserve great credit - man of the match goes to Jason Gibb who was to our game what Freddie Flintoff was to England round the corner at Lords earlier in the day - displaying not just skill, but energy, adrenalin, determination, spirit, guts, and a striking will to win.

Match report 13 July 2009

Another cracker tonight with a competitive spirit reminiscent of the Team GB cycling squad in the Beijing Olympics.

The trouble is that one side had to be Shanaze Reade and just miss out whilst the other team returned triumphant like Sir Chris Hoy.

It was 5 goals each for an eternity with both sides threatening to take the lead in this 6v6 clash but Yusuf, Joel, Joseph, Dan, David, and Jason just failed to stop the great team effort of Jon, Roy, Chris, Ben and Luke, which scored a brace of goals in the dying minutes to make it 7-5.

Man of the match goes to Jon - don't be surprised if Manchester City try to snap him up with a cheeky multi-million pound contract now that they have pulled out of their offer for Samuel Eto.

Match report 6 July 2009

As a contest tonight's match drew comparisons with Federer v Roddick with one side always seeming to be on top, but the other never giving in and keeping right in it until the bitter end.

It was the sheer physical presence of the victors that most drew admiration. Jason was on fire and played with the determination of Archie Gemmill, Martin was a heady mix of composure and muscle who went through the opposition like Norman Hunter faced with an under 11 substitute, Pedro played with the strength and poise of Alan 'Sniffer' Clarke and Tom's determination and speed were reminiscent of Johnny Giles at his peak.

Dave, Dickon and Ben needed skill and determination to keep the score to a four goal gap, but ultimately the struggle bore comparison with the fate of a combination of Prometheus and Tantalus.

Man of the match goes jointly to Jason and Tom.

Match Report 22 June 2009

You know you are witnessing something special when 5 men are easily beating 6. Luke Paul C, Jon, David M, and Yusuf played impeccably with a bigger movement than the world's largest grandfather clock. At one point they were even 11-3 up.

The opposition refused however to be downhearted. Dickon, Paul O'C, Tim, Ed, Chris, and Danny had the words of Jodie Marsh during Celebrity Big Brother ringing in their heads: "I feel like I've got a point to prove every minute of every day of my life."

With renewed vigour they hauled the lead back to make the final scoreline a respectable 14-9.

With so many good performances to chose from and so little to separate the classy displays, this week's man of the match breaks with tradition and goes not to one man but to the 5 man team - Luke Paul C, Jon, David M, and Yusuf, who should all be puffing out their chests and walking a little taller as they all pick up one of football's greatest accolades.

Match report 15 March 2009

30 minutes before kick off and hailstones the size of golf balls were crashing down, the lightning had more forks than a wedding cutlery set and the softie softball players had called off their game.

Step forward ten hardy footballers. Their courage paid off as sure enough the heavens calmed and a game that lasted practically 2 hours ensued!

Nobody wanted to finish, but at 9pm eventually a halt was called.

Given the slippery conditions, the skills on display were startling.

Rob, Tim, Ed, Paul O'C and Ben S made telling runs, moved the ball around with ease and displayed more energy that a Duracell battery on speed; but their efforts were all to no avail.

You could have built the best bonfire in Britain, given how Luke, Lionel, and Chris were on fire, but in spite of their assured performances it was their colleague Paul C, who wins man of the match thanks to his touch, his speed, and his distribution.

Another cracking game!

Match report 8 June 2009

Very quick report tonight:
a) great game
b) 7 v 7
c) strong performances from the likes of Luke, Rob, Roy, Yusuf, Dave, Lionel, Chris, Ed, Paul, Pedro, Alberto, Fernando, and even Danny, but man of the match has to go to Jon O - who spread the ball about with precision, covered every blade of grass, found space in attack, and was like a rock in defence. A peach of a performance.

Match Report 1 June 2009

What a cracker! It was an amazing 10 versus 10 tonight and it would take the judgement of Solomon to chose from the 18 fine male displays and the 2 female ones and select just one person of the match.

Solomon isn't here so I'll have to make a stab at it.

The coloured shirts won 4-2 thanks to great displays from Tim, Benjamin, Tom, 3 Italians/Brazilians, Andrew, Yusuf, Jon, and Chris.

It was great to see Andrew and Yusuf link up like the old days in Camden Town. Jon and Chris have the footballing brains of Cloughie and Sir Alex and were masters at using the ball effectively, whilst Tim, Tom and Benjamin were dynamos using their fitness to cover every blade of grass and barren divet on the pitch. Meanwhile the three Italians proved highly effective particularly in attack with Pedro playing like a cross between Paolo di Canio and Felipe Inzaghi.

The other team on the receiving end of the scoreline - I hesitate to call them losers as there were no losers in this match - saw marvellous efforts from Graeme, Paul (John J Part), Rob, Roy, Danny, 3 Italians, Dave and Ed.

Bravery award must go to Paul, who played practically the whole match with an irksome injury (John J briefly came on as sub and flew around the field); Roy, Dave and Ed were magnificent at probing the opposition with triangles worthy of Ajax in the eighties, Rob made a magnificent return and made invaluable contributions at both ends of the pitch. The three Italians proved effective in midfield and expertly tracked back and broke down many a promising attack from the opponents, but man of the match goes to Graeme - who marshalled the defence and midfield brilliantly, made valuable interceptions, found space and distributed the ball with pinpoint accuracy and poise.

Match report 25 May 2009

At first it looked like it might be one of those slightly awkward 4v3 contests. The rain came down for 5 minutes and the game might have petered out into a slightly unsatisfactory affair. Fate, however, had other ideas.

Lo and behold: the sun came out, the rain stopped, and Tim had the brilliant idea of asking 5 Brazilians and Italians whether they would like to join us.

The continentals and Ed took on the English and it proved to be a hard fought and fun encounter, The Italians (+Brazilians and Ed) took a 3-0 lead, only to be pegged back to 3-3.

Martin was Didi Hamann personified - harrying the opposition, spraying the ball about at will and scoring with a first class strike; Tim was his usual enterprising self, scored a goal worthy of Torres, and made his presence felt all around the park in an error-free performance that would have made Alan Ball proud, Chris was reminiscent of Paul Scholes, running into space, and showing a wonderful poise on the ball, and the brains of a true midfield marshal, Ben was his usual effective self, all over the park, he put in a performance worthy of Steven Gerrard, stopping their attacks and building ours, Paul once more showed his skills and tenacity and caused their midfield all sorts of problems, as well as dribbling and crossing with the aplomb of Peter Beardsley; meanwhile for the opposition Ed, fresh from his recent man of the match performance was a true powerhouse with the strength, power and skill of John Wark.

It was agreed to play until one side scored 5. At the stroke of 8.40pm the Italians (+Brazilians and Ed) scored to win 5-4; but everyone can feel proud of the way they played.

Man of the match is Tim.

Match Report 18 May 2009

Unfortunately, I missed tonight's game, but Daisy May has reported:

"It was a fast paced 4v4 game with both sides displaying the counter-attacking pace and lethalness of Champions Manchester United with dogged defensive qualities of Chelsea at the Bernabeau or Stoke at home.

"It was 12 -10 in normal time. In a curious new system of scoring it was agreed to have a golden goal, this having been scored, a draw was agreed!

"Man of the match award goes to Ed for his powerful midfield runs and rocket like shots which netted (at least) half a dozen goals."

Match Report 20 April 2009

It was a great game tonight. 6v6 in excellent conditions. With decent goalposts and and a marked out pitch. All the accoutrements were there but so was the talent.

It was a heady mix of old and new on display with regulars and newcomers aplenty. Jason, Graeme, Ben R, Paul, Roy and Danny (the bibbed ones) took an early 2-0 lead, only for Tom, Mark, new Ben, Chris, Jon, and Lionel to level it at 2-2.

At that stage, it would have been a brave man who would have wagered a single penny on the outcome, but football is a crazy game that sometimes defies logic and the bibbed-ones asserted themselves and went into a 7-2 lead.

A suggestion was made to change the sides around but it was brushed aside like an irritating little fly by the collective force of the bibless, and they went on to ram the point home by scoring three on the trot to take the scores to 7-5.

The exertion may, however, have taken its toll and the bibbed team saw a renaissance to emerge eventual victors 9-5.

It was a match to rival Chelsea v Liverpool in its twists and turns and with so much class on display it is difficult to select a man of the match, however, for sheer, spirit, determination, tenacity, attacking flair and effective defending the man of the match goes to Jon.

Match report 6 April 2009

It was a 6v5 contest with Yusuf and then Paul swapping sides to help even things up as needed, with the result being a hard fought contest with the teams seperated by a single goal.

Jon returned from a lengthy spell in India and performed with the calm control of Gandhi mixed with the clever and accurate placing of Sunil Gavaskar; newcomer Chris showed a combination of technical skill and clever positional sense worthy of Glenn Hoddle in his heyday, whilst Graeme was reminiscent of his namesake Souness in the way he marshalled the midfield with grit and determination; and David made valuable tackles and incisive passes with the power of Gordon McQueen and the dominance of Ian Ure.

Meanwhile Tim, Luke, Paul, and Yusuf (who had helped the other side to an initial 3-0 lead) fought like demons and ran like billy-o, even using their energy to be ball boys and collecting the ball for the opposition when it went out of play.

It all worked to level the score at 5-5, but with Paul switching sides for the last 5-10 minutes once again the 5 men dominated the 4 and came home 6-5 winners.

Once again, it was a tight contest for man of the match with many players having a strong claim, but the Man of the Match goes to Jon, who performed tirelessly and effectively for his side.

Match report 30 March 2009

Regents Park welcomed seven hearty warriors into its fold. The conditions were good. We had the whole of Gloucester Green to ourselves and the surface was flat and true.

Graeme, Paul and Danny were pitted against Tim, Yussuf and David, with Daniel playing half-an-hour for each side. Tim, Yusuf and David triumphed 7-5.

Tim relished the grass surface with dangerous dribbles reminiscent of Aaron Lennon and effective one-twos that had the hallmarks of a young Johann Cryff.

Yussuf strikes fear into the heart of any defence. At times, you could have been forgiven for thinking you were watching Wayne Rooney.

David May was a revelation, He scored a scorcher and had a couple of powerful strikes ruled just over and round the bar. Meanwhile breaking down many an attack.

Graeme, Paul, Daniel and Danny battled like beavers, and left no stone unturned in their attempts to quell the force they were facing.

Graeme had the footballing brain of Archie Gemmell and stroked the ball around, keeping possession and creating numerous attacks, Paul had the effectiveness of Billy Bremner, regularly finding space and unleashing several strikes on goal, Daniel had the craftsmanship of Johnny Giles, with incisive runs and accurate passes.

It was a very close call for man of the match with many of the players having strong claims, but this week's winner is Tim.

Match report 26 March 2009

It was a fitting end to the winter part of the season: 12 players and 12 goals on each side.

If Sir Alan Sugar was firing each player to leave him with the man of the match he would have a heck of the job, such was the quality on display.

So let's forget Sir Alan and in a spirit of camaraderie, raise our hands to applaud the whole damn lot. There is no man of the match - there are instead 12 fine men of the match.

A few of the regulars will struggle to make it on Mondays - including the stalwarts Andrew, Joel and John - they will be sorely missed, but we hope that they will be back soon.

So, for the Spring and the Summer, we will be in Regent's Park on Mondays at 7pm.

cheers for now,

Danny

Match Report 19 March 2009

I've said it before an I'll say it again - playing 60 minutes a man down is an uphill struggle worthy of the English rugby team. So it was always going to be that 7 would struggle against 6.

However, an outside observer looking at the talent on display in the team with the lesser numbers might have thought they had more than enough in the locker.

Andrew, Yusuf, John, and Joel (who swapped with Paul) are as much a natural unit as Penn and Teller; a horse and a carriage; or Fry & Laurie, and they were aided an abetted by David, who sliced open defences with the precision of a samurai sword, and Daniel, who won the ball with the dependable regularity of a metronome manufactured by Rolex.

But The Magnificent 7 were just that:
Martin = Charles Bronson
Ben = Steve McQueen
Adam = Robert Vaughn
Paul = Eli Wallach
Jason = James Coburn
Dan = Yul Brynner
and Danny was the one nobody has ever heard of!

The man of the match goes to: Steve McQueen.

Match report 12 March 2009

They may have laughed at Edison when he recorded sound, or Marconi when he invented the wireless, or Wilbur and his brother when they said that man could fly, but they would surely scream with derision at the thought of a man of the match playing for the losing side in a 14-8 defeat. Nevertheless that is what has happened tonight.

There is no disputing that Andrew resembled Fabregas, Yusuf was reminiscent of Flamini, Tim of Pires, Ben of Henry, and Roy of Lungberg, but still the decision stands.

Joel, Danny, Paul, and Tom all made important contributions and all played their part in restricting the score to 3-3 and then 7-5, but the man of the match was John, who made darting runs, penetrating attacks, neat one-twos, and powerful shots on goal - at times it was like watching Fernando Torres at his best.

Match Report 5 March 2009

It was a game to cherish tonight as the 10 players on show all impressed.

In a game somewhat reminiscent of the 1966 World Cup final, Andrew, Yusuf, Joel, Tom and Danny took an early lead but were pulled back only to ease ahead again to win 12-8 in the end.

Andrew had all the hallmarks of an Alan Ball - a bundle of energy that tore up and down the pitch with vigour making his presence felt all over the park, making several notable dribbles on the one hand and important tackles on the other; Yusuf was the Bobby Charlton of the team - an attacking force with a relentless eye for goal, scoring the goal of the month with a solo run from his own box, dribbling past the whole of the opposition to elegantly slot in the ball; Joel was reminiscent of Geoff Hurst - a towering presence in attack, who was more than capable of linking effectively in midfield, together with a dangerous shot, the power of which was sufficient that had there been nets, they would have been shot through with holes; Tom was the Jackie Charlton of the side, relentlessly breaking down the opposition's attacks, bringing the ball out with calm, and setting up attacks with piercing passes.

Against such a force it was always going to be difficult for Tim, Daniel, Paul and the newcomers Jason and Dan. However, what made it such a good game was that these five fine fellows were a powerful force of their own.

Tim made dashing runs down the wing, found room darting into the inside channels and set up numerous attacks, Daniel, powered forward and at times seemed to have his foot glued to the ball, he was simply unshakeable and broke through the opposition's defences on numerous occasions, Paul was once more great at link-up play, an effective barrier to the opponent's attacks with tackles and interceptions and was also capable of strong shots that peppered the goal; Jason was a powerful force in midfield and displayed not just the sturdy defensive qualities of a man used to playing his football in Italy but also several telling dribbles, passes and shots, not to mention a powerful header that made him a huge threat at corners; Dan was a relentless runner, who covered the park, making penetrating runs forward and also making important runs back to mark men and cover the gaps, he also tore down the wing with verve and struck fear unto the opposition with his crosses.

It was a close call with many having a valid claim to be man of the match, but the award goes to ... Joel.

Match Report 26 February 2009

Imagine pushing Andy Fordham up Primrose Hill with one arm tied behind your back and you will have some idea of the effort requited for 3 men to overcome 4 in a sixty minute football match.

For a while it looked like Sisyphus was winning out as the three men (Ben, Yusuf and Martin) took a 6-4 lead.

Ben covered the park notching up more miles run than Flamini, and let fly shots reminiscent of Xavi Alonso on steroids, whilst Yusuf made darting runs, and regularly found space to strike fear into the opposition, and Martin proved effective in defence and attack, defending with the determination and effectiveness of Stuart Pearce and attacking with the vision and precision of Glenn Hoddle.

Nevertheless, the four men came back, showing courage and determination. Paul and Luke operated like Johnny Giles and Billy Bremner. They were the engine room that broke down the opposition and kickstarted the attacks; but man of the match must go to Andrew, who used his speed and flair to regularly beat the opposition whether it be with a clever dribble or a crafty pass. It was like watching Cryff and Van Basten rolled into one.

Their efforts were enough for the four men to win through.

Match Report 19 February 2009

We've all seen it happen: a team goes a man down and they regroup, they entrench themselves in their own half, they create a fortress, their only hope a rare counter-attack against the mightier (in numeric terms) force.

This is not what happened tonight.

from the start, the four stalwarts, Jon, Martin, Andrew and Yusuf played an attacking game of flair and vitality, exuding confidence. And why not with such silky skills to call upon? Jon regularly raced past the opposition, gracing the game with stylish flicks and back heels, whilst Andrew and Yusuf combined as effectively as ever with penetrating one-twos and crafty dribbles that tore at the heart of the opposition, whilst Martin was inspired at finding space and distributing the ball effectively building many a decisive attack.

With such an array of talents coming at them the five man team of Daniel, Danny, Paul, David and Luke had to buckle down and knew they had to work like Trojans for the duration.

David made many a valuable salvo into the opposition's heart and was an inspired bridge between attack and defence, Daniel followed on from the previous week's inspired performance with yet more great link-up play, effective tackles and regular strikes on goal, whilst Luke played like a man possessed with jinxing runs, piercing passes, inspired interceptions, and tenacious tackles. There cannot be a centimetre of concrete that he did not cover in the course of the 60 minutes and Luke, who helped his side to a 2 goal victory, is the man of the match.

Match Report 12 February 2009

Eight hardy individuals took on not just the opposition tonight, not just the Siberian weather tonight, but themselves as their minds dominated their bodies and pushed them to new levels of fitness, energy and stamina.

It was frightening to behold the determination being displayed in this 4 v 4 contest.

Newcomer Daniel was an inspiration with his energy and effort, Luke once more was electric in both boxes, scoring with ease and saving with dexterity, Roy made piercing passes, effective runs down the line and in to space and good positional cover when the opposition countered, but it was to no avail as they together with Danny went down 12-10.

The other team were just too much. Martin passed the ball with pinpoint accuracy and consistently broke down the other side's attacks, David made quality balls, tackled like a trooper and demonstrated his increased confidence with a couple of silky smoooth dribbles reminiscent of Ryan Gibbs, Tim played to his usual high standards: making runs, dribbling past players, linking with his teammates with sharp one-twos as well as covering when faced with a counter; but man of the match goes to Yussuf, who was all over the park, moving the ball this way and that, losing his markers, scoring goals and setting them up. It was like Michael Carrick crossed with Eric Cantona.

Another great game!

Match report 29 January 2009

A splendid 6 versus 6 tonight in which Anne Robinson would have been scratching her head for a weakest link such was the consistency of the quality on display.

With an official photographer on hand - watch out for the pics soon on Facebook - everyone was anxious to look their best.

Graeme had the vision of Ces Fabregas, Martin had the enforcer qualities of Mascherano, Joel had the cheeky skills and tasty shot of Jimmy Bullard, Yusuf had the inspired positional sense of Kenny Dalglish, Tom had the dependable presence of Bobby Moore, Andrew had the flair and drive of Freddie Lungberg, Luke had the incisiveness of Maradona, Dwayne had the authority and domination of Gerry Francis, Merrick had the energy and commitment of Patrick Viera, Jason had the precision and quality passing of Kaka, whilst Ben was on fire and arguably was the real difference between the two teams and deserves comparison with the best qualities of such luminaries as Torres, Gerrard, Terry McDermott, Emlyn Hughes, and Graeme Souness (all representatives of the greatest Premiership side).

Whilst Jason takes home the Southern Hemisphere man of the match and our best wishes as he returns to Australia, the UK man of the match this week, confirmed by the Prozone stats is Ben, who took a 7-1 lead and then switched allegiance to help the stragglers come out on top 8-7.

match report 22 January 2009

An interesting, if ultimately one-sided contest tonight.

It was 7v7, and after 20 minutes there was all to play for with the score at 7-5 to the coloured tops.

Post mortems are still being energetically pursued round the streets of Camden in an effort to explain how the white tops caved so dramatically and the coloured tops eased ahead so effortlessly.

The final score is a mere academic emblem of the domination of the coloured tops and your match analyst lost count as the goals kept flying in but believes it ended up at 14-8.

The white tops were not short of skill: Andrew, Yusuf, Joel and Juan all had their moments with creative dribbles, and scorching runs; whilst nobody reads a game quite like Graeme, who was a steadying influence throughout, and Martin proved effective in defence and attack with strong tackles and quality balls.

But it wasn't enough. The coloured tops were sheer class. Luke valiantly played in spite of an injury and worked selflessly for his side, the Pritchard brothers maintained a fine balance between effective defensive cover and quality forward movement, Jason, all the way from Australia, showed the technique of Harry Kewell coupled with the eye for goal of Mark Viduka and the positional sense of Tim Cahill, whilst newcomer Tom had an eager eye for goal and a confidence befitting a true winner. All these factors, coupled with the highly rated Dwayne and Merrick who totally dominated the park with their thrusting central runs, attacking of open spaces and clever one-twos. It was reminiscent of Gerrard and Torres at their best.

With so many great performances, it is an unenviable task to decide on a man-of-the-match and so we retired to the pub and asked an objective observer from South Shields his view, and he had no hesitation in choosing Merrick - and we have to say we agree.

Great game everyone.

It was a hard fought contest and in spite of originally having superior numbers (7v6), the white shirts always knew it was going to be a struggle when a player of Roy's quality had to leave early and so it proved with the gallant white-shirts losing their lead to eventually succumb 12-9.

There were so many quality performances on display it is invidious to highlight any. Nevertheless the public must get a flavour of the skills on display ...

Luke, Tom, and Paul all battled bravely against injuries and are to be commended - their spirit and gusto infiltrated the rest of the team and as a result newcomer Chris and old hand Dwayne sparkled.

The darker shirts were oozing quality and it was a wonder that Mark Hughes's men had passed up the opportunity to see the talent on display.

Yusuf and Andrew impressed with how well they found space and linked up. Andrew was also responsible for some Van Persie-esque finishing. Meanwhile Tim made incisive runs striking at the heart of the opposition and Graeme made piercing passes, stroking the ball around with the assuredness of Didi Hamann.

Newcomer David showed no sign of newbie nerves, linked up impressively and was a millimetre from scoring on his debut, but man of the match (and it was very close call) goes to Merrick, who as well as scoring a hatful of goals also battled back to help keep the tally down at the other end.